Stop Chasing 10s: Why True Balance Means Living at a 5

Most professionals I work with come to me chasing the idea of balance. The problem is that balance is often misunderstood. True balance is not about getting every area of your life to a perfect 10.

Whether you focus on 8 areas of life, or 10 to 12, the real goal is the same. The goal is to hold steady at 5 in each area. Living at 5 in every category gives you something a perfect 10 never can: sustainability.

The Trap of the 10

I have worked with business owners who push themselves to get their finances and careers to a perfect 10. On paper, they look successful. The revenue is growing, the business is scaling, and the bank account looks strong.

Then I ask about their health, their marriage, or their mental wellness. The answer is usually the same. Those areas are collapsing.

This does not happen because they are lazy or careless. It happens because energy is finite. When you push one area higher, another area will dip. That is the reality.

The real mistake is believing you can hold every category of your life at a 10. You cannot. And you should not. A wheel full of 10s will eventually collapse. But a wheel full of 5s rolls smoothly and consistently.

The Illusion of Blessings Without Fulfillment

Many of my clients are fully aware that they are blessed. They can see everything they have built and everything they own. From the outside, life looks good.

On the inside, they feel unfulfilled.

Why? Because while they were thriving in one or two areas, they stopped making progress in others. In some cases, they went backwards.

When they finally turn their attention back to the areas they ignored, frustration sets in quickly. They see their marriage, their health, or their personal growth sitting at a 1 or a 2, and they want it to be an 8 by tomorrow.

Depression Comes From Lack of Progress

Depression does not usually come from having a bad life. Depression often comes from lack of progress.

The human brain is wired to release dopamine when we move forward. It happens when we make progress, check off a task, or experience momentum. Small wins keep us alive and fulfilled.

When we neglect certain areas of life, even if business or finances are thriving, we lose those natural dopamine boosts. That is why some of the most outwardly successful people in the world are also the most depressed.

They already achieved the big wins. There is nothing left to top those victories. Without new areas to grow in, the brain stops firing that natural motivation fuel.

Why My Clients Open Up to Me

My clients admit their struggles to me because I admit mine to them.

I live with bipolar disorder. That means sometimes you will see me thriving in one area of my life, and later you might hear me admit that another area is falling apart. I do not hide this from my clients.

My openness creates space for them to be open with me. That is when the real breakthroughs happen.

Through my own journey, I learned how to train my brain to understand an important truth. It is not always that something in my life is broken. Often, it is that my brain is simply craving dopamine.

The Difference Between Coping and Growing

When we do not understand what is happening, we chase dopamine in unhealthy ways. We overwork, we overeat, we overspend, or we scroll endlessly to distract ourselves.

But when you recognize what is really happening, you can release dopamine in healthy and natural ways.

You can move your body.

You can make consistent progress in the areas you have ignored.

You can create small daily habits that keep your wheel of life rolling steadily at a 5.

That is the shift I teach my clients. It is not about pretending life is perfect. It is about learning how to feed your brain steady progress so it does not trick you into spiraling.

The Mindset Reset

If you have been striving for 10s, here is your reset.

First, identify your categories of life, whether that is 8, 10, or 12.

Second, stop asking, “How do I make this a 10?”

Third, start asking, “What small daily habit would move me forward just enough to hold a 5?”

When you chase 10s, your brain tricks you into thinking you will finally feel fulfilled when you arrive. When you live at 5, you remain fulfilled because progress never stops.

Closing Thought and Next Step

You can be blessed and still feel unfulfilled if your life is lopsided. The moment you embrace moderation, you begin to feel aligned again. You stop expecting perfection and start building consistency.

Balance is not perfection. Balance is moderation. Balance is choosing daily to live at a 5 in every area so that no part of your life is neglected and no part of your life controls you.

That is how you stop spiraling. That is how you reset your mindset. And that is how you build a life and a business that truly last.

Ready to Reset Your Mindset?

If this message resonated with you, I invite you to take the next step. Every week, I share insights on leadership, mindset, and growth strategies for business owners who want to thrive without burning out.

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